Discernment Counseling Defined

Ladybird Relationship Center offers Discernment Counseling

Certified in Discernment Counseling, Kandace Williamson is one of the few certified therapists in the state of Texas specializing in working with couples on the verge of a “hot divorce” separation, or helping couples decide whether to work on the marriage or relationship using this method. Whether you are the leaning in partner or you are leaning out, Discernment Counseling can help you find answers.

Here’s what you can expect in Discernment Counseling sessions.

Discernment Counseling follows an evidence-based structure backed up by research and lasts from one to five sessions. The first step is reaching out to Kandace for a 20 minute free phone screening with each partner to see if you and your partner are candidates for Discernment Counseling. If you are feeling confusion and are conflicted regarding the direction to take next in your marriage or relationship, you may be a candidate.

The goal of Discernment Counseling is to gain clarity and confidence in a direction moving forward in your relationship while gaining a deeper understanding of each person’s contributions to the problems in the relationship or marriage.

Discernment Counseling is not traditional marriage therapy. We are not trying to “fix” the marriage during DC or offer tools or interventions to improve things. Instead, we are robustly exploring whether change is possible based on a deeper understanding of our own contributions to the problems. Then we can move forward towards on of the three paths with more confidence and clarity.

There are three paths in Discernment Counseling and each session ends with each partner deciding whether they want to continue with Discernment Counseling if one of the three paths is not clear yet. Client autonomy is paramount in all of our sessions, and it is your choice rather to continue or end Discernment Counseling if you feel you have reached a decision with clarity and confidence.

The three paths in Discernment Counseling

Path one-status quo: This path equates to keeping things the same without changing or working on the relationship. Most couples do not choose this path, although there are valid reasons for choosing status quo in individual cases. Financial reasons, health or medical challenges, or staying together for the children are examples.

Path two-separation or divorce: Path two means deciding that the relationship has run its course. Separation and divorce can give you a sense of freedom and relief when you feel you have tried everything and you work to deeply understand each person’s contributions to the marital problems.

If you suffer from an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness that you or your spouse cannot make changes long-term, or that trusting again is impossible, path two may be your decision. Choosing path two is not taken lightly in Discernment Counseling. Kandace can help you reach a deeper understanding of each person’s contributions to the problems in the relationship during your individual time in sessions.

Couples sometimes choose path two when affairs are ongoing and your spouse may be unwilling to end the affair. Past affairs, addiction, and ongoing breaches of trust can also play a part in choosing separation or divorce. Other reasons for you to choose path three might include abusive behavior, abandonment or neglect, and constant breakdowns in communication where there is a history of leaving important issues unresolved in the marriage.

At times, couples decide their situation is not providing a safe and healthy environment for their children and their partner or spouse is not willing to work on the relationship or marriage for a myriad of reasons. If you choose separation or divorce, Kandace can help you find your way forward with legal and community resources, individual or group therapy referrals, and care. You are not alone.

Path three-a decision to work on the marriage for six months in couples therapy: A decision for path three happens when both partners have taken a “drone-style” look at their relationship and feel hope that the issues and problems in their marriage are fixable. You have taken personal inventory and understand that both partners have individual agendas for change to work on in marriage therapy. You have decided that better outcomes and communication is possible and you are willing to give it your all out, best effort in couples counseling. You may choose path three still feel unsure if it will work out in the end. Yet, you will know you have done everything in your power to improve yourself and your relationship.

What is the cost and duration for Discernment Counseling sessions and how do we book a free phone screening consultation?

The first two sessions are 100 minutes - 110 minutes in duration and $250 per session. The following sessions are 80 minutes in duration and $225 per session. To book your pre-screening phone consultation, click the “book now” button and click the new client link. Then choose “discernment counseling pre-screening phone consultation” from the session options menu. The pre-screening consultation is free and lasts 20 minutes each. Both partners must complete the pre-screening phone consultation separately before booking your first Discernment Counseling session.